Love 101

For people who know me: yes, i know!! what you guys been thinking. What will this boy know about love!! Hahahaha..:)). Well it goes, I do. Ahem!!

And for those who are stumbling to this blog without having the privilege of meeting me in person and sharing my in-depth thoughts: Kids, You have come to the right person. I shall be your guru. i shall guide you to the eternal truth. I will decipher the whole meaning and game of this concept called ‘lowve’. By the end of this article you will get all the answers to the questions that have been baffling you in your stupid boring lifetime. Oops!! Enough said.

Anyway I will start my theory by broadly categorizing people. (I always felt it as the best way to look at this world).

1) The Facebooks addicts: those who insanely claim about their intense love story with their foolish status messages and innumerable stupid pictures of both holding hands in hands in all the 257 different possible poses and stating the whole world how much they have fallen in love.

Gosh it makes me vomit when I see these psychos. You love the other person more because you guys are craving for social acceptance from the outside world of you two being together. You guys thrive on all the ‘awww’, ‘oooo’ ‘wwwaahhh’ of reader’s comments. (and the other innumerable sounds that humans are capable of making since the starting of mankind). Wake up kids it’s the camera you love. For you love is the world telling you how cute and lovely you guys look together. You guys are pathetic of the lot because you will stick together more for the world around you than yourself as you guys are just incapable of feeling love and making decisions. I pity you the most.

But hey you are doing a huge favor on all us. Whenever I feel utterly bored I know what I need to check. Not to forget how many times I have dropped laughing hard on the floor. This includes my medical bill of whooping 1250 bucks. Damn you all!!

2) The social status symbol: God, these are another lot that I despise the most. I can’t tell you how many people I have met who just want a boyfriend/ girlfriend to prove to the world that they exist. It’s like buying a BMW or a flat in Suburbs of Mumbai. Motto: The world has it, so I need to have it. All those who are mentally retarded exist in this lot. Love can never be fulfillment for you guys as you fail to realize that. Its too superficial to start with. Their judgment is based on facts and figures like bank balance, car, etc. Feeling and compatibility are concepts alien to these people.

Its not love that brings the two together but it’s the need to prove the world that has done the wonders. There is absolutely no chemistry and even after gulping 11 pints of beers you will still wonder what brought the two together in the first place.

3) The Insecure: Those who want to be accepted that they are physically demanding. I feel it’s the need of the hour. With all these media attention, the human crave for looking beautiful will keep on increasing. And what can be a better way to feel it than getting attention from a beautiful girl or a handsome guy sitting across the table.

As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone I feel this is the best of the lots.

Well it’s hard to draw lines and group people in these categories. There’s always a percentage of the three categories that we can find in everyone.Anyway the one I will discuss now is the purest of all.

4) The made for each other: You feel love when you see the couple. You don’t have to be taught about it. It’s something you know. It’s something we always see in our parents. As you grow up and yet don’t really know what this word means. Looking at them you believe that concepts like serendipity and love at first sight does exist.

This made for each other (thanks to old Wills advertisement) statement is overused. It’s hard to find this lot. It’s a rarity but a gift.

Go on find your love. Believe me this world needs more love to make it a better place. Love is more than infatuation. But I totally believe love has to start with it. I mean how I can love a girl if I am not physically attracted to her.

Statutory warning: Love hurts!! and however tough you may pretend when someone breaks your heart, it does pain and its real. You make fake it with a smile and 'I'm fine' statement but you know its not cool. So find the right person before you decide to love someone. Really!! Wait how you can even decide whom to love. Forget it. Go on live the world. There is soo much confusion in this world and its complex social relationships, culture and human society. I think we will never be able to decipher our thoughts and feelings. If there is one beautiful creation god has created, it is our head and how we develop feelings with our different experiences. I think the beauty lies in living and experimenting life. But listen to your head and leave before it’s too late and you start losing yourself. World is too beautiful to fall for a person anyway!! :P

PS: I am not a love guru and for all who know me well, I am still the same old guy when it comes to girls:P And will most probably end up asking my mom’s help to look for a girl to marry me when I am 29. hahaha:) But hey I am still happy go lucky chap!!

On a serious note. This article sole purpose was to generate enthusiasm amongst blog's dying readerships (anything about love sells amongst confused teenage kids and adults in late 20s who still fail to understand its time they grow up. People in the middle of the two age groups are just too confused with this world to understand anything about life). So go comment, all you nitwits!! I thrive on your comments. Suits my narcissism!!

Though I strongly vouch against these cheap tricks to get readership. But hey the world is changing. Look at all the TV channels and newspaper. I m just adjusting to recent marketing needs. And this ill written article on the Holi eve (which I won’t be able to celebrate as I am on an offshore rig) is a step towards it. Tata!