Gandhi Is Still Alive

“Let’s loot the bank. Yeah lets do it, it will be fun and it aint gonna harm anyone”. I would have never gone for it but surprisingly I did, I went for some cheap trills and as quite expected it turns out to be one of the many stupid mistakes in my life.

The act was foolish and too kiddish to begin with. We enter the main hall without any plan or protection, but the worst part is my companion, sensing the trouble, bails out on the very last moment and I am caught and have to spend 2 bloody months in exile.

So more than the act, which I anyway feel foolish about, I repent the person whom I went with. Because surprisingly he starts avoiding me. The friend, whom I blindfolded believed in and cared soo much for, turns out to be one spineless coward.

Yet I try and try to contact him. I assure him that I m ready to take whatever it is, but I atleast need an explanation as to why he ran away when I needed him most and more so why is he ignoring me now.

The confusion fucks my mind and to add to it, this is what I hear from him, after zillion tries.

“ Dude , it’s not my fault, I do what I wanna do, and had I known that you cant take it I wouldn’t have done with you. And thank god you realized it never happened. God you aint that bad in guessing games.” I never heard a word as simple as sorry, and seriously it would have meant soo much to me at that moment. What amused me most was the coldness and insensitivity in the attitude now, because I would have never guessed it when we had first met. Never mind.

I smiled and I just said it’s all cool. I said I will be fine but back in my mind I knew it’s easier said than done. Yes, it was my decision too to do this dreadful act. I took that step, and am equally responsible for it, but you can’t bail out so easily on the last moment and go back to your normal stupid life when I chose to spend 2 months in exile to forget it ever happened. It’s a mistake that we ever met, my friend.

I have met people and I have made friends, but none ever seemed so fake. So coward to avoid reality and bail out so easily. Its like a kitten who closes its eye in face of a danger, dreaming it will soon go away. I have never met someone as spineless, as selfish and as coward as you. And I despise every moment we ever spent together. And the reason I aint ever told this on your face is because it aint worth it. It would be beating drums to a deaf.

You made me hate the word friendship, and I wanted to get away from anything even remotely connected to it. You made me believe that it’s too sick and selfish. But don’t hide under your drape and believe you can get anything and everything from the world. Its aint your playground. You don’t define rules and don’t be foolish to believe in it. Time turns, my friend, and wont be soon when it will reaches out with a slap on your face.

I tell myself to mellow down, deep within I knew everything will be fine as before. No sooner I will forget the stupidity I had done and will soon realize that it wasn’t worth a dime and was a bloody mistake. I knew its not easy but time heals all. Come on, I been here before and it’s not my first time.

But atleast my previous comrades, even those around the world, whom I will never ever meet again had heart and head to explain and say something when I needed them most. You aint worth to be called a human. You aint the king, you aint the queen. You are sadly mistaken and you are leading a farce life. Jolt to reality my friend, you don’t govern people and have rights to toy with their feeling. Ohh sorry, you said, “I hate this F word( for feelings, lol or was it, sorry, I care for only mine)”

Yet, my friend, we shall meet again, someday, sometime. And we did. Back of my mind the anger and the burning wrath was eating me up. But I didn’t let it overpower my judgment.

The thought constantly rang in my ear, to “pull the trigger”. But I didn’t. But don’t be mistaken my friend, the reason I didn’t do so was not because I was too weak but because I felt sorry for you. I realized you aint worth even spending a second of my life. I left for humanity and for the values and integrity we are born with, which for sure so blaringly lacks in you.

And I decided to put on a good show, a smile, relax and cheer up and pretend nothing ever happened. Though my eyes were bloodshot with anger, I still let it go.

Go on, live the life you chose to live, I m happy we didn’t go any further and it ended faster than it started.

Maybe Gandhi is still alive, alive somewhere within us. But don’t be mistaken, niceness is not weakness. It’s an act of forgiving and moving on and believe me it aint weak.

Goodbye, my friend, I wish you luck for you future. But I think you are too coward to be even called a friend. Amen!!