Joblessness with a Job: My Life at IITM in the Last Semester

My state (since last 2 months): total joblessness
Possible reason: my job, but I am not sure about it because I will be the last person on this earth to be complacent about anything. To tell you the truth I have a great sense of insecurity that keeps haunting me all the times. It’ just that I want to be out of these four walls. Sometimes this place gets just too sickening for me. I want to start a new life.

I have penned down my day’s routine to as much detail as I can possibly do. Its kind of a boring life in my last semester at iits, place which has played the foremost role in shaping my life. But I am not sure if it’s for any good. It’s just that I don’t wanna do anything here now.

I wake up at 10 am in the morning; I curse myself for waking up soo early, but cant help it’s too hot to sleep. I go to toilet, and damn, there’s no water. I come back, pick up the newspaper and the same old stuff, Bush blabbering about how important democratic system is, and how can the biggest democracy play a principal role in restoring peace in the world, will Ganguly play in the next test match and blah blah blah!!! I believe seventy percent of the content can be prepared by these media groups by just sitting in their offices. It’s just the same old stuff. Anyway I pack it and rightly dump it in waste basket. It’s 11 and I can go to my D slot class. But I have absolutely no enthusiasm especially when I have missed my morning slots. Infact to tell you the truth, I haven’t attended a single class in 3 out of 5 courses this semester. I have no idea if the professors have enrolled me for those courses. Time passes by, leaving me in state of indecision and daydream, cursing my life at iit or making plans to change myself in case I am in a better mood.

My table clock strikes 12 am and I check out the toilets again. Again, no water. Anyway, its grub time. I go down to the mess. Phew!! Same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. Somehow I fill my stomach, grab an ice cream and go back to my room. I force myself to play guitar. It’s painful. I pack it after 10 to 15 mins. It’s 1pm now. I plan to go to the lab for my 6 credit project. Man I have to cycle 1.5 km in the hot sun. No incentive other than this that I have to get my degree this semester. There have been cases where decent fellas had to stay back for not doing satisfactory work. Eventually after a lot of conflicting thoughts about my sense of duty and my laziness that has crippled me this semester, I plan to go. I pull over my jeans, unwashed for 2 months, my faded t shirt which says Einstein wasn’t genius and chappals and I ride my bicycle, making an irritating sound because of some loosened screws. 230pm I am there. I go to my professor and force a smile at his grunting face.
Me: Good afternoon, Sir.
He: Long time, haven’t seen you, how much have you done.
Me: speechless. Trying to get an intelligent answer but damn I can’t.
He (irritated voice and still grumbling): Did u complete the graph, what about the specimen in the furnace, you did XRD of the samples?? And what about the mathematical modeling. Did you start that?". By this time I lose track of whatever he is saying and those technical gibberish flies above my head. I keep telling myself that one day I will get all that he asks me to do, but don’t know when. Anyway I reply: ya I have started. That’s what I could think of after half an hour. Damn I am bad at persuasiveness.

With my head down I walk out. Go to adjoining room and switch on the A/C and sit before the computer, I switch on the FTIR machine, open matlab on comp and take a nap for an hour. It’s 330 pm and time to go to the canteen. I have a crappy puff and water something coffee. I curse it but still have one more. I walk back to my lab at 430 pm. My professor is packing. I show my face. I smile, but no use so I sneak inside to take my stuff and slip out.

It’s 5pm and I am back to my den. Time to go to the swimming pool. I love it; this is the only thing I enjoy being here. Water is heaven for all the Chennaites. For almost an hour and a half I swim, completing 10X50 meters. Cool I have improved.

I come back around 7pm. Sit before the computer and do some mindless surfing. I go to mess and find same old boulders of uncooked rice, rasam and sambhar. I can’t torture myself anymore and I call my friend, Akshai " Hey, dude wanna eat out.”
He(stingy bastard as he is): I am bankrupt, my debit card has expired. You gonna treat me then I am game otherwise eat in mess.
Me: Dude. I paid last time we went out.
He: No machi, kinda low on cash.
Me: you are an asshole, you gonna give me back all my dads money.
He: We will see that later. (He has to pay me 523 bucks, last counted). We eventually agree to meet. Me: “How much do you have?” He:16.50 Rs in my pocket. I have 142 Rs. And we decide to go to Dhabba. We order 2 sabji and 6 rotis.

He plunges into food and we discuss about different stuff; mainly politics inside the campus, music, movies, books, courses, BTPs and how unfortunate we are in term of interaction with opposite sex. We have a diverse ecosystem inside the campus. Males, different varieties of trees and animals, you name it and its here, black bug, spotted deers, monkeys etc. and few non males too (as commonly referred by junta here, mostly because of their inability to classify this section in either gender). Statistics say it comprises 10 percent of human population inside the campus. I wonder what will be the state of an iitian when he walks out of this campus and sees a female. Imprisoned inside these 250 hectares for at least complete 4 years, in case he doesn’t gets detention, one will be lucky to spot a female. Once he walks out and sees that sex ratio isn’t as skewed as represented inside, it will be quite of a traumatic impact.

After grub he takes a cigarette, and offers me. I deny. Infact this has been happening since last 3 yrs but he is hopeful that a pessimist like me will eventually resort to it. I come back, open DC++ and search for movies. I have seen almost all except few mallu movies. I download those and try to pass my time until midnight.

1 pm net is down. I play guitar for sometime and then try to write something. 130pm. check if someone is awake. Sardar is awake boozing. I sit in the room filled with smoke for a while and then pack. I go to Jalan, disturb him while he is busy mugging. Meanwhile Junta are playing footer in the quadrangle; I wish to go there but am too lazy. 2pm come back to room and start a novel. It’s boring and sooner I crash off.

This has been my routine for more or less last 4 years. What I feel is that life at iits is different, rather funny at times. One has problems adjusting initially but then you get used to it. Enough time passes and you get so that you depend on them and that’s when it’s institutionalized. Your lifestyle moulds accordingly unaffected by the world outside. It consists of routine life and then more routine. But the great thing is that like thousands of fellas who graduate from iits every year you wanna leave an impression in this world. “___was here so was me”.

PS: other than stuff concerning the BTP is true to the best of knowledge. Regarding the BTP, problem is the professor, who has gone to Singapore is least interested in the project. The conversation with him is hypothetical, imaginary; one of the many day dreams of the author.