Really, Am I Happy?

Its fading away, I can’t see the light,
I twitch, I crawl, I manage to stand up, I fall,
I am hurt, exhausted, I look around,
I see misery, hounding, creeping slowly to
Envelop me in its profound darkness.

I try to run, to escape, but I can’t,
I howl, I cry, I pray to him,
But I think he has closed his doors,
Or maybe I can’t find it.

I feel a gentle touch; I am no more scared of it,
May be I have accepted my fate.
Suddenly I feel nauseated; I don’t realize what going on,
I feel comfortable, my brain feels numb.

I crash down and I am asleep,
I try to move my hand but I can’t,
Am I dead. No, I can think,
I have thoughts constantly ringing in my ears.

I see an angel floating in the air,
I see my ball, my favorite red ball when I was young.
There I am playing in my father's garden.
Surrounded by flowers. My mother
Is swinging in the see-saw.
My father pushing it. I look very happy.
Suddenly the sky grows dark, covered with
Red colored cloud, color of blood.

The green grass fades, flowers fall,
I am scared, I run; I don’t find my mom,
I am scared and I fall down with my red ball.